Maybe in Time
by J.Dax
Summary: ClarkLex. Some Lana bashing, noncon, futurefic, oneshot. Spoilers for the season five finale. Clark thinks and remembers with a conversation or two from Lex.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything Superman or Smallville.

A/N: First Smallville fic and I hadn't really even known this series existed until I accidentally caught the season 5 finale. So I did some research and watched some repeats and found that I really could get into this. So sorry if it's bad and off-kilter, hope some of you devotees might like it though.

I absolutely have gone bonkers for Clark/Lex, or Clex. They are soooooo good together.

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They had all been wrong. He thought now, glancing down over the city from his perch on a random rooftop in Metropolis.

He usually wore that horrendous spandex outfit that seemed to come with his recent job description of "Superman", but that was for them…for the people he saved, for when he was being their superhero straight out of the comics.

Now he was dressed plainly; jeans, black turtleneck sweater, and a flowing black coat that reminded him of…of a time far away from this one.

The point was, really, that he didn't want to be seen in this moment of contemplation and gawked at with wonder by passing civilians below, and red tights tended to show up against city lighting in a way that wasn't very inconspicuous.

He looked across the street into a familiar penthouse and sighed, coming down into a crouch that eventually eased into a sitting position.

They had been so very wrong. Understandably, of course, since he was apparently _that _good at keeping major, life-altering, secrets to himself.

A time, years ago, although it could have been millennia, it really didn't matter, his best friend fell deeply in love with his ex-girlfriend and there you go.

At first they thought his reactions to the situation had been because he hadn't wanted to lose Lana, but it wasn't her he had been worried about loosing…it was him…always him.

And then things really exploded and after the whole incident with Zod was finally over, things never went back to the way they were.

He hadn't really expected them to.

But he hoped…and that was ultimately something that Lex Luthor had once admired in him.

Now he just shook his head bitterly and laughed in a humorless fashion, "After all these years, Clark" he'd say, meeting Kent's gaze dead on, "You'd think something would have finally made you give up"

Clark recalled a particular conversation, not too long ago, maybe (but his perception of reality seemed to be offset by his desolate nostalgia tonight), that he had shared with Lex, who was no longer even that to him…no…it was just "Luthor" now.

"It could have been you, you know" Lex had told him with a sardonic smile playing at his lips as he poured them both a glass of brandy, standing in the fire-lit study at the old Luthor Mansion, "If you had only told me the truth before, when I asked…" he trailed off.

Clark loosened a formal necktie and took his glass from Lex as the older boy sat across from him (older…hmm…neither of them looked a day over twenty, _if_ that…meteors and aliens will do that to you).

They looked directly at each other as they had always done: an old habit of ciphering for one another… deducing, wondering…each one constantly aware of the other in an almost painfully alert way.

"Really?" Clark asked, without any real hint of a question in his voice, his tone remaining neutral.

"All you had to do was tell me…I would've taken you right there, no matter where it was at the time" he replied with honest intensity.

Clark had to quirk one of his long forgotten, devilish farm-boy smiles at that, "Even if it had been in front of my dad with his shotgun nearby?"

Lex actually gave a genuine smirk in answer to that, "Well, in that case, I might've just made you super-speed us over to the castle"

He relaxed like he always did after a while in Lex's company.

Lex's expression dropped off after a moment of silence and he cleared his throat, relaxing as well, although only into that forever immaculately maintained posture of one who is never caught unawares and is tense underneath his slack demeanor.

"Why didn't you? Ever tell me that is?" he asked.

Clark turned his optical occupation to the rug and x-rayed through it just for something to do while he thought over the legitimate question.

"There were so many times I came close…but I made a promise to my dad and that always stopped me. I thought…after a while, after finally really getting to know you, I could break that promise, and it would just sort of… _come out_"

"But…" he prodded.

And he blinked away his x-ray vision in order to focus on Lex fully, "But it takes something stronger than my willpower to override an ingrained habit, apparently" he was ready to stop at that, but his mouth had other ideas, "Plus, just when I became able to trust you enough to tell you, that trust got violated" he noted Lex stiffen and quickly threw in, "Not that it was at all your fault, Le-Luthor, but after what happened…I just thought it best to keep it to myself"

Lex eased himself slightly with that verbal balm over the never healed wounds of our more hideous altercations.

"I kept wanting you to tell me…kept waiting…not just because I felt betrayed that you didn't, but I saw how much it tore you up inside to have to push me out of that area of your life, Clark" he noted with a painful lilt in his voice.

Clark's eyebrows went up slightly at the now rare use of his first name, "I'm not sure it was ever the right decision to keep it from you, Lex" their was only a fractional pause before the out of use first name passed his lips and it got it's own subtle reaction out of his friend/enemy or whatever they really were to each other these days. "But I'm not sure it wasn't either…fact is…I can't go back in time and-"

He was interrupted by the barely concealed humor in Lex's face when he said this.

Clark actually giggled at the other man's expression when it broke into a grin, "You know what I mean" the media dubbed Superman said.

Lex chuckled, "Yes, yes" he then sighed, "You know what, Clark? Let's forget about the what-ifs for tonight"

And they had.

And that had almost ended them in bed together…almost.

Until Clark had caught a glimpse of a photo of Lana on the mantle and just couldn't think beyond a sudden flash of pain and jealousy and hurt that came over him every time he thought about her and Lex.

He had nearly died inside those years after the incident where Lana and Lex got married and things between them and Clark shredded into absolutely nothing.

Clark wasn't even allowed to talk to Lex if he passed him in the street any more, per Lana's unspoken boundaries.

A part of him would always remain in that time in his life when Lex had well and truly been completely out of reach and yet so close.

They were wrong.

He had never wanted her. Not once. Not since the day on the bridge. Not since Lex.

She was gone now. Out of their lives. Divorced from the Luthor Heir who was in no way just sitting idly by on daddy's inheritance.

Lex was a firm believer in Nouveau riche…he didn't like living off old money.

Too little, too late.

Lana Lang could be bearing children to another rich billionaire on the other side of the globe (her and Lex had never been able to have kids of their own, thank god, because Clark would have just committed Kryptonite aided suicide), or she could be dead for all him and Lex cared.

Still…her memory remained. Lingered forever to divide them against each other in some way.

Clark's cell phone rang and after absently fishing the object out of his coat pocket, he smirked at the name on the display screen.

"Hello, Lex"

"Are you going to sit out there staring at me all night, or are you going to fly down and have a drink?" he asked, popping his head out of one of the penthouse windows and somehow locating Clark's near invisible figure against the roof opposite.

"I thought I'd wait to catch you with your clothes off before I decided to drop in" he joked back, even as he stood and prepared to swoop in.

"I notice you're wearing that coat I gave you…looks nice", he said as Clark took off and dove feet first into the open window with one expert movement. Landing gracefully and without a glitch.

They closed their phones at the same time.

Enemies…friends…they could've been lovers.

Maybe there was still hope for that.

Maybe.

The End


End file.
